An emotional arc like no other

You guys.
I was just about ready to throw the %$^&%$@# computer out the $%^$&$@ window. 

Why is it that I am the IT person in the household?  I know very little about computers these days.  We have a bit of a computer crisis in this house, which is much too annoying and tedious to review here.  Suffice it to say that I have a pressing need to use the computer and printer, and we had no working computer/printer combo.  So, after several deep breaths and loud sighs and running my hands through my hair, somehow, SOME FRICKING HOW, I was able to make it work. 

And my first instinct was to rush over here and tell you about it.  Don't you feel lucky?

Speaking of lucky, I felt lucky earlier today.  I went to work but my 9 am appt didn't show.  I had nothing to do at work, and it's dreadful to be bored at work, especially when I have a bazillion things to do outside of work.  So, I explained to my boss and she said, "go".  I guess this is an advantage of being provisional.  I do not work; they do not pay me.  I can sort of decide when to stay and go.  Anywho, I dropped off my dead computer (argh!!!!!! but I'm not going into that story) at the fix-it place, and I drove across the street to visit my sweet little old grandma. 

I found my grandma sitting in the dining room of her memory-care-nursing-home.  She smiled and acknowledged me (and I think even recognized me) and then went back to tapping the spoon and fork together on the table.  WTF?  Grandma, I know you have dementia but c'mon!  I'm here! 

So, I tapped her on her arm and yelled, because she is so hard of hearing, "Grandma!  It's me!  Teresa!  Your granddaughter!"  She relied, very cooly, "yes, Teresa, I know it's you."  I wheeled her to her room and after exchanging brief pleasantries (she didn't remember how breakfast was but was able to remember that I had a bunch of boys that were probably at school somewhere), I grabbed a collection of photos of our family to look at with her. 

It was delightful.  She's not always in the mood, but today, she seemed to love it.  She brightened up, smiled, stared for a long time at Ole (her husband of nearly 70 years/my grandfather of 41 years) and said, "Yes, Ole.  I miss him so."  I replied, "I miss him too grandma" and teared up. 

Now, the great thing about someone with dementia is that you can get all teary in front of them and they don't even notice.  We're not a very teary family.  I am, but my mom certainly is not, nor is my grandma.  They are much too practical to get all sentimental.  So, I was able to grab a kleenex and have my moment while she was lost in the pictures. 

She remembered, then forgot, us all.  I pointed out a picture of her father, and she said, "Mr. Augustine!" which was indeed his name, but curious she would call him that.  She said, "I can't wait to see him again."  I explained that I have never met him and she said, "oh, you should!  The trip to see him isn't too bad."  I hope it isn't, grandma. 

She saw an old picture of me and said, "sweet little Teresa."  Again, I grabbed a kleenex while she continued remembering and forgetting again who these people were. 

My mom came by the time I had to leave.  I kissed my grandma goodbye and promised to visit again soon.  "You will see me again, right?"  Of course, grandma.  I am your sweet little Teresa.