SOL

headache.
have one.
have had one for a couple of days.
used to have them all the time but not so much lately
(like since having kids - I think it's hormonal or something)

I am listening to Bob brainstorm with One in the other room about a school project.
One keeps rejecting ideas.
Bob said, "well, then, you're SOL."
"What does that mean?" One asks.
"Shucks out of luck," Bob replies.

Shucks out of luck.
I like it.

I cleaned out the hellhole basement this week.
Sent off a lot of toys to Goodwill - others to the trash.
Feels good to shed some belongings.
Bob is busy burning old paperwork that we've been keeping for far too long.
He just unearthed an email I sent to him on Feb 17, 2005.
(this was before I knew about blogs)
I wrote to him:
"at 12:02 pm today, (one) called me a 'poopyhead'.
I think he's feeling better."
made me chuckle.

It's cold and damp and yucky here.
I don't know if spring will ever come.
Right now, I'm just hunkering in, waiting for summer.

April weekend recap

What a great weekend.  It was precisely what I needed.  My Julie came to town, and she and a couple of old college friends, my cousin Dan, my two aunts (Julie's mom and Dan's mom), and a couple of new friends from my job all met out at a watering hole for a bit Friday night.  It was a fun and eclectic group.  I didn't get into my bed until 3:30 am.

So, since I'm old, that took me a while to recover from.  Saturday was a quiet, low-key, rainy (and snowy) day.  Kids were amused and entertained by Julie and her friend Michael (who also stayed the night).  Bob and Two went out for a date that night (to a fancy steak house).  Two is on a journey, a vision quest I suppose, to explore all of the steak houses in town.  Not to be outdone, I grilled out a couple of steaks for the boys left home with me.  They were yummy.  The key, my friends, is closely watching the clock while grilling and not getting distracted by facebook.  (This lesson was learned by a couple of very tough pieces of chicken last week.)

On Sunday, the sun was shining again.  Around noon, Bob took the kiddos to Milwaukee to a Discovery World science museum there.  (Local peeps - if you have a Madison Children's Museum membership, you can get into this great spot for free.  It's super fun and I'm not sure it's that well known.  Check it out.)

While the boys were gone, my Julie and I visited our grandma and had a great visit.  She was more lucid than I've seen in a long time.  I asked the staff there if she has had a medication change lately, and a staff woman said that she is no longer taking the alzeihmers medication she had been taking.  I don't know if it's related, but the difference was remarkable.  She was clear headed.  She followed stories.  She remembered what we had been talking about.  Julie and I told her about the events down at the capital lately, and she was amazed and kept going back to it - wanting to hear more.  And she was spicy, which is what I've missed the most about my grandma since she developed dementia.

Afterwards, we went to my Aunt MaryKay and Uncle Dave's house for goulash with my parents, Aunt Jo (Julie's mom), and Dan, briefly.  It was a lovely, fun evening on their screened porch - lots of laughter into the night.

Julie left bright and early this morning to head back to NYC.  We are on our Spring Break, and we head out this morning for our annual trek to a Dells' water park with 3 other neighborhood families.  Best vacation ever - kids are happily amused with each other, and I get good adult conversation with people I really like but don't see very often.

Mark - there was lots of talk last night about "when are YOU going to Palestine?"  We were all asking each other.  I hope this means we all do get over there to visit you.

April 13

thanks, y'all, for the love after my last sad-sack post.
I felt it, and I needed it.
Especially from you, John.  That was very sweet.  Brought a tear to my eyes.
(I miss Donna so much and I just can't believe she's gone, but that's a whole nother post for a whole nother day.)

This week is going better.
Looks like our boy is working hard on learning his lesson.
He has written his apology note.
He is taking his lumps at home (grounding - first time ever we're using that punishment - as well as no contact with fellow-thug/neighbor boy) and at school ("in school suspension" which means spending a day in a different teacher's classroom, as well as talks with the principal and teachers).
He is ready to move on, look forward, put this in the past.
I am too.

Weather here has been wonderful.
I've biked to work and I'm happy to say I LOVE my new bike.
She's so pretty!
Some day I'll take a picture of her and show you.

Little monkeys upstairs are supposed to be settling down for bed, but that's not happening.
So this may be cut short.

Briefly,
One's emotions are running sort of high again lately (like last year).
I'm trying hard to not get sucked into his drama and to try to pay attention to the positive.
It is difficult to find that positive sometime.
Three's emotions are also sort of all over the place lately.
I don't get too excited about that, since it seems like he's just mimicking what he sees around here.
It is so much easier parenting that third child, don't you think?
I'm sure he'll end up the most centered of the bunch too.

We interviewed 6 potential applicants for summer babysitter job here.
Looking for someone to spend about 25 hours/week with our chickadees and keep them outside and active and happy and engaged.
We have narrowed it down to 2 - one boy and one girl.
Both seem great.
I may write more about this process later (it was pretty fun and the kids were very cute about it), but not now.
We're waiting for references to come back, and we'll make our final decision.

I'm looking forward to this weekend.
My Julie is coming to town.
(I have a cousin named Julia, and my boys do too, so we now refer to my cousin Julie as My Julie)
I haven't seen My Julie since last summer.
I miss her so.
She's the splash of sunshine I need.

on a scale of 1 - 10, today started as a negative 39455 but ended as a 2

oh boy, a stressful last 24 hours around here.

We were on pins-n-needles about our spring elections.  Still are, actually.  Our gal Kloppenberg is up by (last I counted) 200 votes (over 1 million cast) for state supreme court judge.  There is a recount in the works.  Let's hope she stays on top.  Never has "every vote counts" been so meaningful.

While laying in bed, watching the returns come in, I received a phone call from another dad at Two's school.  I'd rather not get into the details, but Two made some very bad choices in behavior yesterday afterschool with another neighbor boy.  The word bully was mentioned, and, honestly, it was used correctly.  Bob and I had an emotional exchange about what to do about it.  Two heard us talking and stumbled into our bedroom, late, accepting his punishment.  The morning came and I found out about even more bad choices he made, which cause me to cry in frustration, which caused him to cry also.  All in all, not one of our greatest moments chez mooncrawl.

I emailed the teacher to tell her what had happened.  I called the principal also.  I asked to attend a meeting with the victim's father and principal at school.  My boy will not be a bully.  I simply will not allow this to happen.

We have imposed strict consequences at home, and there will be more coming tomorrow at school.  I am embarrassed, humiliated, frustrated.

Two acted the best he could all day after school.  He was helpful and generous with his brothers.  He accepted his grounding punishment without fuss.  He acknowledged that his freedoms are severely limited (i.e.  gone) and his ability to play with the other bully is over.  He wrote a sweet letter of apology to the victim, using his best hand writing (and he included that tidbit in the note: "I am using my best hand riting.")  He knows more punishment is coming tomorrow and he seems to be accepting it gracefully.  I gave him a big hug tonight at bedtime and told him how proud I was of the choices he's made today, and I expect them to continue tomorrow.  "forever, mom," he responded.  I'll take that too.

This parenting gig is hard work.  It's scary and frustrating, and sometimes?  Sometimes I just want to quit.  But I can't.  "Dig deep" Bob told me once during a fight we were having.  "Dig deep and remember why you love me."  It's good advice.  I've had to dig deep for strength lately, especially today.

briefly...

Hi.

Brief recap...

Just set up 5 interviews for summertime babysitter for my merry crew.  Hope one of these college kids works out for us.  So far, the process has been fairly painless.

Had a great dinner out with some friends at a new fancy-pancy restaurant nearby last Friday night.  It was quite pretentious but was able to live up it, so I'll give it a favorable review.

Had a great talk with my favorite Palestinians over the weekend.  Also, connected via facebook with some friends in China.  It's so nice to have round-the-world conversation while sitting in my comfy house.

One had an overnight field trip with his class.  He did fabulous but another 4th grader didn't fare so well.  I heard he got off the bus crying.  The night before when he was lonely and missing his family, he asked a couple of kids if he could sleep with them.  He ended up going into where the chaperones were.  Poor kid. I hope the other kids (mine included) are kind to him and don't pick on him for having a hard time.

One is also about to have THE TALK at school.  I realized we should have THE TALK here at home beforehand.  I'm not quite sure what he knows and what he doesn't.  I think we had a pretty frank discussion (brief, but to the point) a couple of years back in a in-a-moment discussion, but I don't know how much he remembers or understood.  He knows enough to be freaked out by it, and he's freaked out.  I got him a couple of books, and he is refusing to read them.  He would be mortified if he knew I was even mentioning this to anyone.  He is an intensely private boy, that One.  I'm letting him decide if he'd rather have his father or me talk with him.  I think he's leaning toward Bob, which I am quite happy with (as is Bob, which does not surprise me).

I predict that one day after having this discussion with One, we'll be having it with Two.  "Wait a minute.  What's this?  Details, please!" will be his attitude.

Which reminds me again of how much I love having more than one child to get that sense that each one is different and their very own people, regardless of who they have as parents.  I mean, I'm basically the same parent to each of my kiddos but they are such different little people.  I would be very judgmental if I just had one - thinking that anyone who didn't act like my one was odd.  Now, however, I'm much more humble.  They are who they are, really, with little input on who is parenting them.

And, since I'm on a little roll here, Three announced excitedly to Bob tonight that his library teacher had a baby TODAY!  I overheard the conversation while I was upstairs folding 145930 baskets of clothes.  "But Dad.  How does the baby just POP out of the tummy?  I mean, how does the tummy get put back together?  how does that WORK?"  I heard Bob give some mild explanation about how the body just goes back together.  I decided, in preparation of HIS talk in a few years, that I would explain a little more fully, so I did.  "Babies don't pop out of mama's bellies, honey," I said, and I went on to give a very nice, very 5 year old version of what happens.  I did it right (I hope) because he didn't seem upset or weirded out, more like, "wow.  your body did that?!" Like squeezing toothpaste out of a tube, we concluded.

Off to my warm bed.