I'm cranky. I can't figure out how to use Photobucket (one of Two's teammates' mom's put a bunch of great photos of the team in action in photobucket and invited us to view/use them, and I can't figure it out). Also? Bob and I are bickering. Also? I still feel like shit. Also? I am overwhelmed with life. Working 32 hours/week and having a husband who works probably double that and having 3 active children is a pace I am not used to. I sort of feel like everything is falling apart around me, yet I can't lift my head to even acknowledge it. Just gotta keep on trudging along and hope for the best.
I am definitely in a day-by-day existence lately. Not much planning for the future. I have a friend who very sweetly wants to take me out for my upcoming birthday, and I can't even really entertain that right now. I think, "yeah, yeah, let's talk again in November when maybe I will finally be feeling better and may have a chance to literally and figuratively catch my breath again."
I am getting ready to have book club here. Yes, I know. Stupid of me to host book club on a night when I am feeling everything I listed in paragraph one, particularly pneumonia (which I have never had before. Have you? it SUCKS.). I planned an easy menu (chili with already prepared chili sauce that I canned last year, salad, no-kneed bread, desert from Trader Joe's) and there are only 3-4 people coming, so I just want to host and get it over with. Bob is annoyed at me for not canceling. I understand what he says, but then again, I don't. I am realizing I don't know how to be sick.
In this entire 3 week saga (today starts week #4) of having to drag myself through every day, I have taken one 6 hour day off. I have cancelled my own personal plans for every Friday night that I've been sick, but other than that, I haven't really slowed down much. Silly as it sounds, i don't know how to. Does anyone? And I wonder what I'm teaching the kids about self-care.
I sort of just want to cry.
Here's to hoping the antibiotic will work. Here's to hoping my fearless "I don't need to slow down to beat this thing" attitude is right. Here's to, finger's crossed, hoping my family and marriage gets healthier as I do.
Pneumonia is so draining. I'm sorry to read life is overwhelming you so much. Hopefully something gives sooner than later for the sake of your family!
ReplyDeleteI've had pneumonia. I rested and I got better.
ReplyDeleteOne unemployed; one with pneumonia; one evacuated...quite a scorecard for the parents...
ReplyDeleteEverything is worse when you arr sick and tired. I hope you will be easy on yourself and patient. Everything will fall back into place as your health does. Also? Quit running around!! You are so much more important than anything else. Big hugs. :)
ReplyDeleteJoin the club T, three weeks sick, now pneumonia. Keep up a good front, and don`t let them see you cry! Tell Bob I`m going to kick his butt the next time I`m visiting from the desert!
ReplyDelete