I have no good title today. Nothing.

In the spirit of full disclosure, I need to tell you that One has been a delightful child lately. Voluntarily picking up a completely trashed basement, helping his brothers (including making scrambled eggs for them for snacks), getting up early and happily, doing homework without nagging, skipping off to the bus in good humor. And I think, "what was I so troubled over a couple of weeks ago?" Ah, the ups and downs of motherhood.

Which brings me to this you tube video a friend emailed me. I started off watching, cynically planning to give it a minute and then shut it down. I ended up viewing the whole then, and then having a good ol' cry afterwards. It's what we mothers all know, but her words and the pictures that accompany them sure got to me.

sweetness and goodness

So, every night at bedtime after we read books and give all the kisses and hugs and tucking-in, I lay next to Three and go through a little sleep inducing mantra that I made up a while ago. "Now we settle our body down, take a deep breath, close our eyes, think happy thoughts, go to sleep, have good dreams, goodnight and I love you." Sometimes we then list all the people we love (always adding "love you, miss you Pop" - for my grandfather who died last year). Last night, Three was so tired he skipped it all and just said, "happy thoughts, mom," and fell asleep.

I stayed there for a few minutes, next to his warm, sleeping little body, feeling so thankful for my children, my home, my life.

hiding out

Monday afternoon play date going on here. This is day three of playdates chez mooncrawl. I normally like having friends over and playing, but I'm getting a little weary of it. Maybe that's because it's just a little too sloppy to be out for long, so all of the chaos is inside. Plus, these have been sibling playdates, which means more kids. Which means more personalities. Which means, of course, more chances for bickering and, joy of joys, tears. So far, no tears today (yet).

The weekend was very nice. As I mentioned in paragraph number one (see above), we had two marathon playdates. One look at our basement and you can tell. I started to talk about the mess down there to One, and he immediately said, "I'll pick it up tonight, mom." Good for you, One. It is a MESS.

We found a new (to us) sledding hill on Saturday a mile or so away. It was very fast and precarious, full of tree obstacles and a road at the bottom. The kids loved it. I was quite stressed out, though I did enjoy all of the giggling that accompanied the sledding/snowball fights.

Bob and I did have that date out on Saturday night. I'm quite enjoying the fact that we have kids old enough to leave with babysitters, and the two sitters we use in the neighborhood are very sweet girls. We went to a yummy dinner and then out to a movie. Up In The Air. Kind of a bust. What's the big deal with that movie anyways? I really don't get it. I mean, George Clooney is adorable and all, but really?

One went to a b'day party for a couple of hours on Sunday morning, and I got the job of taking him there. Which means I went to Barnes and Noble during that time to browse books. Such a luxury!!! If I were the type to buy books, I'd totally buy what I was reading. High On Arrival by Mackenzie Phillips. Fascinating dysfunction. I do have my name on the list at the library for it, but I bet I wait close to a year. I'm quite taken by her story over at Celebrity Rehab.

Look at me, hyperlinking like a pro.

Off to manage this chaos. I am laughing at the costumes they have put together. I'll try to take a picture or two.

Friday update

Hi reader(s),

Not much going on here.

We've had some glorious sunshine the last couple of days, which is just delicious and life re-affirming.

I had a fun night at Bunco last night -- hearty laughs, good conversation, yummy food. Nice to connect with adult-people.

I finished the last season of Weeds on Netflix. Whew! That show makes my head spin! I love it.

I just cleaned out my refrigerator. I feel like I've accomplished something. Next? Those pesky bathrooms.

We've been doing a lot of skating lately. Kids got ice skates a couple of weeks ago, and they are OBSESSED, especially Two. Ob. Sessed. He wants to skate every free moment he has. Fortunately, there's a neighborhood rink that's less than a mile away, so it's fairly easy to feed his obsession. The other night, I drove them over and sat in the car, listening to an old podcast of This American Life, while One and Two skated and fell and skated and fell. And I thought, "this is a pretty sweet gig I have going on right now." I took some video of the skating last weekend, and I have plans to make it into a little imovie. Maybe after those bathrooms.

Here is my happy, skating, toothless boy. I love that smile.

And lastly, our previously blogged about struggles with One are getting better. We are working hard not to engage when the nonsense starts. Giving him more freedom to make his own decisions (for instance, when to complete homework - which I used to insist was done right when coming home. Now I just tell him that I trust he'll find the right time to do it. Seems to be working, although I have to remind myself often not to nag him). We are staying calm and cool with him, and it's going better.

Off to a completely child-centered weekend -- b'day party to attend for One, basketball practice for Two, more skating/sledding for all three, watching a friend's hockey game. I'm trying to score a babysitter so Bob and I get a date out. We kind of breezed by Valentines Day, and I'd like a re-do.

Happy weekend to all y'all!

Our Chicago weekend

Last weekend, we went to Chicago together as a family. It will be a vacation we will never forget, but, like childbirth, the pain should lessen as time goes on. Some good, lots of bad.

First, the bad:

• The kids fought. I mean. Come on. We're on vacation and you STILL have to fight?
• Our hotel had no pool. We knew this before we left, but we learned how extremely important it is for us to have access to a pool. The five of us sharing one little hotel room got old quickly.
• It was cold. I know. We knew this also before going, but we walked outside ALOT and that is a cold city to be outside in for a long time in February. I'm just saying.
• It was hard to find an activity that made everyone happy at the same time. And when the others were unhappy, they made it painfully clear with lots of complaining and whining.
• Bob forgot his cpap machine (for sleep apnea). He realized halfway down in the car and he didn't want to turn around. He promised me he wouldn't die in his half-sleep. Untreated sleep apnea is no joke, people.
• Bob and I both got sick.

OK, enough of that. Let's talk about the good:

• Rainforest Cafe. Not on my list of places I want to go, but Two was in heaven there. He said it was the best place on earth, next to Six Flags Great America, and he was going to write a story about it at school. I have to admit, even my cold heart warmed up to place when hearing that.
• Chicago Children's Museum at Navy Pier. Two and Three really enjoyed it there. Great firefighter exhibit, building area, water splashy area, and much, much more. Three could have spent all weekend there and been very, very happy.
• Taking public transportation (mainly bus, but train too) around Chicago. Even when we took the wrong bus and ended up kind of lost, we had fun figuring out how to get where we wanted to go. Oh, and one of our buses got really bumpy going over an old bridge, which caused us all to laugh loudly and bounce around.
• The Field Museum of Natural History -- at least for Bob and One. Two and Three were less into it. ("This is stupid. Why are all of the animals dead and behind glass? WHY CAN'T WE TOUCH ANYTHING? Why do we have to walk so much? I don't want to wear my coat. MY FEET ARE HOT!")
• The Willis Tower, formerly known as the Sears Tower. Although the wait was practically unbearable, One and Two and I eventually got up there and had a great time on Floor 103. (Three and Bob opted to stay down, which was a brilliant decision.) There are these sky decks up there that were quite freaky. One and Two bravely went out on them, and that was just waaay too much for me. They pleaded and begged for me to go out on it with them, and, when my hands were in a death grip with theirs, I stepped on it. For about 1.5 seconds. And then I wanted to faint. See picture below. Seriously freaky, people.
• Ikea. Enough said.
• Deciding to head home early and sleep in our own beds Saturday night. Two nights was enough, we decided. We left after our evening Ikea trip, so the kiddos slept and we talked. It was almost like a date.

We learned that we are some years away from taking a big trip together somewhere. I had a fantasy earlier this year that maybe we'd be able to drive out to Baltimore this spring break, but no. Not yet.

So, some pictures.

First, two of Chicago's finest.

My attempt to find peace at the Field Museum. We sat in this mock bus, watching a film about a mother and her baby taking a bus around somewhere in west Africa. There was good African music. We looked for Uncle Mark, Aunt Aisha, and our friend Tijani (all of whom have lived in Africa). I gave the kids candy, and we zoned out.

Here it is! The sky deck of death. I'm getting queazy just looking at this picture.

technology vs. society

On the very chilly walk to school this morning, I passed a neighbor who was outside shoveling. I've chatted briefly, mostly about the weather, maybe a half a dozen times in the past several years. Honestly, if I were to see her out in the world and not in front of her house, I probably wouldn't recognize her.

This morning she told me that she had a dream about me last night. She proceeded to tell me the elaborate dream, and we shared a laugh about it. We wished each other a happy day, and away we went.

This exchange reminded me of a conversation I had with a friend who came to our house to plaster a room for us last week. He had just watched an episode of Nightline, I think it was, about how today's technology is changing society, and not necessarily for the better. We play video games, text, google, facebook -- sometimes all while doing something else also. Our multitasking, high technology society was freaking him out. What are we losing with all of this impersonal communication? Are we going to hole up in our houses, never to leave, and do all of our transactions -- personal and otherwise -- via the computer?

I said I wasn't too worried about it. Now, truly, I do enjoy some of the social pieces of this modern age. I would lie if I didn't admit to (wasting) spending some time many days on facebook, email, and, of course, this blog. But that's not going to replace the need for real, person-to-person contact. We need to interact with others, just as we need to exercise and drink and eat. We are a social species, complete with opposable digits (which come in handy when typing!).

And today's interaction with the neighbor illustrates this perfectly, I think. From little interactions like that to the bigger ones, we need to have relationships with others. At the end of life, that's what matters most.

What do you think, dear readers? Is all of this technology ruining us as a social species, or is it just adding another way to interact?

love my library

I missed my book club this past weekend because of this pesky little sickness I'm dealing with. I'm bummed, because the book we read was so provocative. I judge a book by being good if I think about it a lot when I'm not reading it. This book has me thinking AND talking about it (with people who haven't read it - which is rather unfulfilling). I'm happy that I'll see some bookclub friends out on Friday night, so I'll be able to process it a bit then. Anyway, the book is called The White Tiger, and I highly recommend it, but only if you find someone else who has read it or knows about India (where it is set) because I'm telling you! You'll want to talk about this one! (and remember - there's always me!)

I picked up this book on a shelf at the library a couple of weeks ago. It's a YA (young adult) book, but certainly interesting for not so YA's, like me. It's about sexual slavery, and it takes also in India. It's a quick read but worthwhile.

And remember that little parenting issue we've been dealing with chez mooncrawl? I've decided to give this book a whirl. I got the idea from an Esquire magazine article about, of all things, President Obama (the journalist compared Obama's management style to the same one he learned about in a positive discipline parenting workshop). Anyway, I have a DVD on order and just picked up the book yesterday. I'm hopeful.

confidence

So much to record, but for now I'm going to share this little tidbit from One.

He's a bit of a football fan. He plays football every chance he can get. He draws football plays in notebooks at school. He's reads novels about football players. He watches every game he can. So, as you can imagine, Superbowl Sunday was a big day around here.

I was feeling pretty crummy all day and spent most of the day in bed, but I rallied enough to sit upright in front of the tv with the rest of the family for the big game. One and I both wanted the Saints to win, though we also had reasons to want the Colts to win. Basically, we just wanted a good, fun game to watch, and we got it.

Three needed to go to sleep, so away I took him at the end of the game. I then collapsed into my bed. One came in, to once again share how wonderful it was that the Saints won. I was sort of drifting in and out of sleep as he excitedly chattered on. He mentioned that the QB of the Saints held up his baby son in celebration at the end of the game, and how sweet that was. I smiled and asked, "are you going to do that when you win the superbowl?" He responded, "Oh, I don't know if I'm going to have a son."

I kissed him and sent him off to bed. I fell back asleep, charmed by his youthful confidence that the most unknown part of that question was not whether he would be an NFL player that would be on a team that would win the superbowl, but that he may not have a baby one day. I have thought of that exchange several times since Sunday, and it makes me smile.

a photo essay

Friday was a frustrating day for me. I made arrangements for Three to be babysat so I could go and get my first mammogram. I went to the appointment in a good enough mood, and found out I was late. 24 hours late. For an appointment I made last year. I am rescheduled -- for MARCH.

So, I decided to turn around my frustration and tackle a new couple of recipes in the kitchen -- North Indian Stuffed Eggplant and Caramelized Onion, Pear and Gorgonzola Flatbread. Away I went...

Slicing pears...

Cararmelizing onions...

Preparing potatoes for mashing...
Baking eggplant...
Sauteing more onions, carrots, ginger, garlic for the eggplant dish. Oh, the kitchen smelled so yummy by now!

Mashing potatoes and mixing with cream cheese (more eggplant filling)...

And, finally, the flatbread. It turned out deeelicious and much easier than I thought. (Side note, I made pita bread a couple of weeks ago and found the same thing - pretty easy! I'm enjoying branching away from traditional bread loaves. What's next? Maybe english muffins!)

Here's the eggplant, fresh from the oven. Looks ok, no? Well, it turned out to be a complete flop, at least in my family. The boys were universally turned off and wouldn't even attempt a bite. Bob and I gamely shared one, and halfway thru, I asked for his honest opinion. He paused. I said, "I don't really like it." Relieved, he agreed. I called a couple of nearby neighbors/friends whom I thought would be game, and they both agreed to take some.

As I left the house to deliver the food, warm dish in hand, I was feeling the day's frustration. Why couldn't I write that appointment on the correct day? Why couldn't I more accurately predict my family's food tastes? Really, what kind of mother would expect their children to eat such an ambitious dish? Why am I hanging on to all of these mistakes?

I walked, and the crisp night air soothed me. My neighbor was happy to give the food a try, and we had a brief, friendly chat. As I left, I looked up, and saw a bright, spectacular full moon.

I ran back home to grab my camera to try to capture the glow. I stood outside, snapping pictures, and I became thankful for all of the mistakes in the day that led to that moment.