the update

Last we left each other, I was about to bike down to check on my three 8 years old whom I sent down to the school playground.  Let's pick up there...

So, I grab my dog and hop on my bike, armed with gaterades and prepared to find these 3 cuties having a great time at the playground.  I wonder, as I bike, would they be doing the monkey bars?  Maybe the swings.  Or, maybe they lucked out and a ball was left out and they would be playing kickball.  

I pull up and the playground is suspiciously quiet and empty.  "Shit, where are they?" I wonder.  I slowly bike by, looking for the scooters, listening for their voices, but it was a ghost town.  Crickets chirping.  Tumbleweeds blowing.  

Are you with me?

I bike around the neighborhood, looking at the beach, going along the bay (maybe they took the scenic route home?), squiggling through the streets on the way home.  "Ah, I know!  I missed them on the bike ride there.  They are probably waiting for me on our front deck."

I get home and nothing.  Nada.  No cute boys.  No scooters haphazardly thrown on the grass.  

I start to sweat.  Did I mention that they new friend's father is a police officer?  This is not the conversation I want to have with a police officer.

I decide to take the car and drive around looking for them.  I go back to the usual spots and try a few more.  I drive past 2 houses that house trampolines in their backyards.  I don't get out because I don't see the tell-tale scooters in the front yards, but I slowly case the joints, listening for jumping, yelling, laughing.  

I get angry.  I get worried.  I craft my scolding.  I decide upon punishment.  I see a neighbor and ask him to keep an eye out.  I return home - no boys.  I have now been looking for 30 minutes.  I check the answering machine and hear a message from new friend's mom.  "Hi!  Just checking in!  We'll head on over to pick our boy up in a few minutes."

Shit. 

So, I take a deep breath and call them with the news.  "I am embarrassed to admit this but I don't know where the boys are.  Just so you know I've never lost any kids before."  

"We'll find 'em," Mr. Police Officer responds.  We exchange cell phone numbers and he sets off to my house.  I call the other boy's mom.  I quickly run down the situation and ask her what she thinks.  She suspects the trampoline houses and offers to go there to look for them.

I nervously pace the house.  I sweep.  I dust.  I look out the door, down the street.  I watch the clock.  

Phone rings.  It's Mr. Police Officer.  "We got 'em."  

Turns out they got thirsty and crossed the street to the neighborhood coffee shop to get some water.  (This must have been when I biked past.)  They left the coffee shop and went around the corner to the neighborhood beach, where they played on the sand.  They were happily scootering along home, oblivious that they were "lost".  

I eat crow in front of new friend's family, apologizing for the trouble and freaking out.  I chastise Two for not sticking to the plan (to school and to home - nowhere else).  I sheepishly ask if new friend could come back to play again someday.  "Next time with a little bit better supervision, haha," I say.

******

This morning, after the dust settled, I decided to have a little stranger-danger review with my Two.  We laid in bed and strategized how he should respond if some creepo approached him with candy, or a request to help him find a lost puppy, or the line that "your mom sent me to bring you home."  I reminded him to consider if it makes sense that a strange adult would ask him to help him find a missing dog.  "Would I do that if Dash ran away - ask some random kid to help me?"  "No, mom!" he responded.  We talked about that next time he should wear a watch and come home at a specific time.  That he cannot go anywhere we don't decide upon ahead of time.  That maybe he could even take my phone so we can be in touch with each other.  

******

In the end, I am glad it unfolded the way it did, even if new friend's parents think I'm the flakiest parent.  I believe age 8 is ok to give a little taste of freedom in the world.  In the end, no harm was done and some lessons were reinforced.  

Hello Palestine...

Unfortunately, I can't say that much longer.  Those of you who aren't my facebook friends (and perhaps even those who are - damn new layout) don't know the latest in my brother's situation in Palestine.  Briefly, congress has decided to cease a lot of funding (like, hundreds of millions of dollars) in aid to Palestine in response to Palestine requesting to be recognized as an official state in the eyes of the UN.  Quite the F You, if you ask me.  So, this means my brother's program, and his position, is over at the end of this month.  I feel so badly for him, since he worked so hard to get there and wanted it so badly.  Also, I am totally bummed because this time I was not going to miss the opportunity to visit him overseas.  Now, of course, this time I am missing it again.

I have yet to talk with him about this, which feels weird but of course totally to be expected, given the time difference and busy schedules.  I have read between the lines of his email to me and have decided that he is disappointed, of course, but not devastated.  At least, that's the spin I (protective and worrysome big sister) am putting on it.

Since I started this post two days ago, Mark, my bro, has put together an eloquent and lovely blog posting about this and other important events that have happened in his life lately.  Feel free to check that out, at Unimposssible Life Blog.  You know this because I've said it over and over again, but I (proud and boastful big sister) love his writing.

*********************

In other news, we have continued to have full and busy lives, mainly surrounding football - Tackle for One and Flag for Two.  Much to say about both experiences, but briefly, it has been an exciting season full of angst and anxiety and injuries, peppered in moments of fun (for One), and long runs and touchdowns and good-ole fun (for Two).  Needless to say, we are again examining whether One will return to this sport next year.  Perhaps not...

Three has opted out of playing football and seems rather disinterested in the sport as a whole.  He said to me this morning, while finishing up watching One's game and preparing to drive over to see the rest of Two's game, "I wish I only had one brother so I didn't have to watch more football!"  I think we've inadvertently and successful killed his desire to play.  He has mentioned soccer a few times, so maybe that will be his sport.  Works better, really, with his Italian name, so I'm in favor.

This is how Three spends his time at the football games:

**********************

I'm working 27.5 hours/week now (27 one week, 28 the next).  I work late Mondays one week and Tuesdays the next, but I am able to pick the kiddos up after school on Monday (I work from 3:30 - 7:30 pm).  The point in all of this detail is that

a.  I am grateful to have a job in something that I like and am trained to do, and
b.  I am grateful for the flexibility to work mainly when my kids are in school so that I see them most nights (9 out of 10) after school, but
c.  I am feeling a bit pinched for my time.  I would sort of dig having a day to myself to clean the house and meet a friend for lunch and even sit in my (newly) clean house and read a book.  But, there just aren't enough hours in the week to make that happen.

I know I will feel better about things once I adjust to the new schedule.  I also know that once football ends in a couple of weeks, I'll be more relaxed.  Rushing off to football practice 3 nights/week makes things a but crazed most nights.

All of that said, I will add that I applied for a new job last week.  It's part-time (20 hours/week) with the State, not exactly doing what I have been trained to do ("social worker" is not listed anywhere on the job description) but one where I could use my skills.  The job itself sounds a little dry and paperwork-y, but it's permanent, with benefits.  And as you probably remember from my ongoing complaints, I am still considered a "provisional" employee at my current job.

10 months in and still provisional.  I do the most work of the 3 of us hired, I see the most clients, but I am still considered provisional and therefore do not have benefits, including earned time off.  I know there are budget problems that are not getting any easier, but I am feeling myself getting a little bitter about it (does it show?).

So, I thought I'd throw my name at this new job and see what happens.  What I would prefer is to somehow become permanent at my current gig.  We'll see...

************************

Two has 2 buddies over and I sent them down the street to the school playground to play, sans adult supervision.  Three eight year olds wandering the streets of Madison.  Good idea?  I think about my childhood and how that was totally ok.  I consider the threat of harm.  Someone could fall down and hurt themselves.  They could get thirsty.  I doubt they will be abducted - all three of them together.  There are no busy streets to cross and the weather is perfectly delightful.  However, all of that said, I think I will bike on down with Dashy dog now and bring them some Gaterades and make sure they are all still alive and not abducted or bleeding or lying on the ground in dehydration.  Plus, what a great day!  Perfect excuse for a little dog-n-me bike ride.

Mondays

The purpose of this post is to remind my future self what a typical day off, Monday, is like in my world these days.

6 am - Wake up, turn on tv, check the weather, see that it's raining.  Damn.  Worry that my children will get cold and wet on their travels to school.
6:20 am - Start to wake up the troops.  Get dressed and (cough) beautify (cough).
6:30 am - Head downstairs to work on breakfasts and lunches.  Hot lunch is a "disgusting" hot dog, so cold lunches all the way around.
6:35 am - Answer the phone.  It's Bob, sweetly checking in on how we're doing and making some grocery list suggestions.  In my kindest voice, I remind him that now is not a good time to chat, as, in my angry, mom voice, I yell at the kids to stop from harassing each other.  End the phone call shortly thereafter.
7:10 am - Walk the 2 oldest to the bus stop at the corner in the pouring rain.  Take the doggie along, who is none too happy to be in the rain.
7:20 am - after a brief chitchat with other bus stop moms, head back in to get Three ready for school.  Hold my breath, hoping for an easy transition.
7:30 am - drive Three to school, reminding him that he will go home after school with a friend.  Smile when he happily sees a friend from his class deboarding his bus.  Give him a hug and kiss and watch him bound into the school after his friend.
7:35 am - return home to grab my grocery list, overdue library books, mail to be mailed and items to be returned.
8 am to 9:30 am - listen to Pearl Jam on the Ipod as I leisurely grocery shop at Woodmans.  Smile at the regular shoppers and workers.  Feel accomplished that I have several meals in my cart.
9:30 am to 11 am - run errands.  Return unwanted clothing, socks, video games and shoes.  In turn, buy new clothing, plates, christmas gifts.
11 am - get home to put away groceries.  Greet Bob, who stopped home to pick something up.  Feel grateful that he pitches in to help put groceries away.
11:30 am - Chat briefly with my long-lost BFF T on her way to a meeting.  Make tentative plans to talk with her later, if her meeting runs short.  Then, clean bathrooms, clean out the car, do laundry.
12 pm - T calls again!  Talk for 25 lovely minutes, which is not long enough but will have to do for now.
12:25 pm - run over to One's school to pick him up for therapy appt.
1 pm to 2 pm - Participate in therapy with One.  Feel comfortable and supported by this therapist - so glad to have him.
2:10 pm - pick up Two and Three at a dear friend's house who agreed to watch them after school.  Take her middle child home with me to continue the playdate fun.
2:30 pm to 3:30 pm - make dinner.  Hand out snacks to hungry children.  Make some phone calls to family members in need.
3:30 pm  to 7:40 pm - Go to work and feel like I earned my paycheck today.  Challenging!
7:40 pm - return home to eat supper, greet my oldest boy, who happily informed me he is listening to Monday Night Football on the radio with his younger brother while Dad and Three are asleep upstairs.  Catch up on blogs, email, facebook.
9:00 pm - Sign off here and head up to bed.

Tuesday

Short report today.

I had, seriously, one of the worst days of my life.

OK.

I said, "seriously", so that means "I'm not exaggerating" 

but I am

and I suppose it could have been a lot worse.

But still it was pretty damn sucky.

My Three proved his "I hate school" point today in full, technocolor detail

when he balked and refused to enter school

and then kicked his teacher and ran away.

Around the corner.

Down the sidewalk.  

Across the street, and down the block.

A teacher ran with me, and eventually the principal joined us.

He continued kicking and screaming while we dragged him back to school.

He screamed "NO NO NO!" as we forced him to go into the school.

We dragged him up to her office

and he Tore It Up.

Threw down the chairs.

Pushed the table around.

Banged the chair repeatedly into the door

and

chipped the paint.

I 

was

mortified.

The principal asked if he was like that at home.

I saw the look in her eyes.

"Is he Emotionally Disturbed?" it said.

I replied, "no, he's just very stubborn and very mad."

The principal, while sweet enough, seemed a little flustered.

She threatened to call the police if he ran across the street again.

My boy was scared and sad by that

but he didn't back down.

He refused to cry.

"Go ahead," he said.  "Call the police.

I don't care!"

I left when the social worker came in and took over.

I said I had to go to work,

which was true,

but I also had to get out of there before I started crying.

It's a hell of a thing, watching your child have a complete meltdown like that.

I got to work, 

muttered something like, "sorry I'm late, no I'm not ok, have to go now"

and I ran down the hall to my office.

Shut the door.

Called my husband.

And burst into tears.

The social worker and my husband both responded great.

Three settled down after I left, 

played a game of Uno with the social worker, 

and joined his class, where he had a great day.

We have a plan in place for tomorrow.

Three has promised me he will not do that again.

I have a sinus headache from a cold.

I am emotionally wiped out.

I am heading to bed 

and I am thankful this day is over.

obligatory first day of school post

19 days after school started, here I am.

Here is Three, heading off to Kindergarten:

As the picture indicates, he was excited

and nervous.

19 days in he has lost some excitement

but not the nerves.  

We've had some "I quit school" moments.

And when he really means it, he'll say,

"I quit and I quit again!"

The double-quit.  That's when you know you're serious.

But we're getting through it.

He's happy to hang out with same-aged kids.

He's making some new friends.

His teacher will be fine. 

Not spectacular, but good enough.

(which, by the way, is the working title of my auto biography - Good Enough).

Here is Two, heading off to 3rd grade.

New school.

Bus ride (instead of walking half-mile to and from).

He is my poster child for happy student.

He loves the bus stop.

He loves his teacher and new clasamates.

He is excited about doing his homework.

He doesn't have a lot to offer at the end of the day

but whatever it is, he is happy.

So relieved,

because when he was 3 years old and sent to pre-school, he had such anxiety

that I pulled him out. 

Poor kid - he would wake up in the middle of the night with worry and fright that he might have preschool that day.

I'm so glad I trusted my instincts and removed him.

Kept him home with me the rest of that school year.

Restarted when he was 4, and it went much better.

And now?  He loves the challenge of the new grade, the new school.

Here is One.

Mr. Fifth Grader.

He thinks he's too cool for the first day of school photo

so he refuses to give a big, bright smile.

Little does he know that he has 7 more years of these photos.

(and maybe more, if he goes to college nearby.

I'm not above greeting him at his dorm and taking the first day of school photo there.)

We have been extremely lucky with One's teachers, all the way throughout his schooling.

Every year, we think, "this is the best teacher ever."

And nothing against the previous years' teachers,

but we keep having that feeling.

This year included.

His teacher is lovely.

A wonderful fit.

I am so thankful for this placement.  

His group of buddies isn't in his class, but that's good.

He needs a push to make more friends, and here it is.

Push, my One.  Go and make new friends.

The two photos below may be contenders for my Christmas Card photo.

(but the mere fact I am posting them means they won't make the cut)

They are cute, campy photos of my crew, though.

Hope your starts of school have gone well also!

putting up

Home today with sick (?) kindergartner.

Very slight fever.

Achy bones.

If I wasn't working, this would be a no brainer.

"He's just in kindergarten - let him stay home!"

I would say.

Now, I'm all about, "how sick are you?  

Do you think you could go in in a couple of hours?

Tomorrow you will go to school."

Doesn't help that the reaction I got from my boss was,

well,

less than positive

when I called in saying I couldn't come in.

But that's all I'm going to say about that.

So, I'm going to be productive today and continue working on my tomatoes.

I am elbow deep in tomatoes, thanks to a bumper crop at our friend's garden.

Today's mission?

More chili sauce.

I canned 22 pints of chili sauce yesterday (after working earlier in the day).

We like chili and have plenty of tomatoes, so I'll put up more.

I'll end the suspense at what I did on my "day off" on Monday.

Ready for it?

I went to 2 grocery stores.

I folded 5 baskets of laundry.

I picked the kids up from school at 1 pm (typical Mon release time).

Then, I took 1 child to a dr's appointment (football injury)

and

I worked 4 hours.

Yup, that's right.

I sort of forgot to add that I agreed to work "late Mondays" every other week.

At 2 pm, I wished I didn't have to go in.

And then the chaos started and I decided work needed me extra badly

so I headed in a tad early.

Thank God.

It was air conditioned.

It was quiet.  

People smiled when they saw me

and no one asked for demanded a snack,

or water,

or to get their turn on the computer,

and no one, not one person, yelled at me. 

I didn't want to leave.

I'll end with some photos from my canning escapes over Labor Day weekend.

Actually, in the spirit of accurate reporting,

Bob did a bunch of the canning because I was nursing a sore back.

Here's my outfit for the day (love my apron!)

Here are the tomatoes, taking a little bath.

And here they are, peeled and reading for canning.

I realize it would make sense to have a picture of the final product

but why start making sense now?

We ended up canning about 20 quarts of whole tomatoes.

have a good day, my friends!

Door County vaca 2011

Hey!

Long time no blog!

We have been b-u-s-y.

Among other things, we took our week vacation to Door County.

I heart Door county.

Here are some of the 533 pictures I have from that trip:

Firstly, we stopped at Bay Beach park in Green Bay.

Have you heard of this place?

It is awesome -  a city run amusement park that charges 1 - 2 tickets per ride.

And?  the best part?  tickets are 25 cents each.

In between the roller coaster and the giant slide,

we had the kiddos pose for a picture.

My three are on the right.

The four on the left are my older brother's kids - 

the cousins that my children love so dearly.

We made it to our house late that evening.

We found my parents walking down the sidewalk, looking for us.

They had had their nightly cocktails and thought it was a good idea to search us out.

Fortunately, we came upon them only a couple of blocks from our house.

My parents do make me laugh (sometimes).

Anyway, here's our rental for the week:

Isn't she pretty?

Love this place.  Feels like home.

What do I love about this place?

For one, the front porch, which is where we spend a lot of time

reading, watching the world go by, and solving all sorts of problems.

And at night, there have been many a card game played/

puzzle put together/

other games played

and drinks drunk there.

This is the view from the porch of the bay (Green Bay, which feeds into Lake Michigan but is much warmer).  There is a sweet little public beach there and a boat harbor.

My favorite boat was the one with the Jolly Roger.

There's more!

This place has cable.

As in tv.

Something the children below are normally deprived of.

Many a Sponge Bob episode was watched

(which reinforced why we don't have cable).

But we didn't only veg out in front of the tv.

We played perhaps the best game ever invented

(and the name is escaping me...  dang... oh!  got it!)

Cranium for kids

(or something like that).

We tried playing this game on a vacation probably 5 years ago

and it was a disaster then.

Kids too young.

Now?  

A total fun and riotous time was had by all.

Here is the aforementioned sidewalk.

No, these are not my parents.

That is my nephew (walking) and Three (riding his bike).

Our place is right in the heart of Fish Creek which means lots of nearby shops

and restaurants

and general hubbub.

I like hubbub.

One of the destinations we frequented on our bikes/feet was Sunset Park.

As you may imagine, there are glorious sunsets there

which conclude with applause.

No lie.

yes, this is a picture of me and Bob while I take a picture of Bob.  So artsy!

But the people and the tour bus leaves prematurely.

Because it is only after the sun has set that the best part comes.

 

We spent some time at the beach.

Actually a couple of beaches.

This one is Peninsula State Park.

Oh, did I mention my favorite Palestinians were with us?

Yes, my bro Mark and his wife Aisha gamely joined us for the week.

Mark was pictured above in one of the sunsetty pictures.

Here is Aisha, floating on my floaty on the beach

(don't ask).

Oh, here's Mark again.

Just thinking...

probably about how great of a sister he has...

 We're not good, as a group, at doing group photos.

But we captured this one below of my parents

and (almost) all of their 7 grandchildren.

Can you spot the missing grandchild?

That would be Three, who is temperamental about getting his picture taken.

We finally did get Three to participate in a group photo.

See how happy he is?

Did I mention we celebrated my parents' 46 wedding anniversary while together?

Theirs is a sweet love.

Here's a photo of the best dad and granddad ever.

All of the grandkids love him to bits, and they should,

Oh, here's a good story.

It's a lemonade out of lemons kind of tale.

The kids were owl-y, and it seemed the adults were too.

At least, I was.

I'll own it.

We decided to head out to one of our favorite Door Co hotspots.

(what? you didn't know Door Co had hotspots?

oh yeah, baby)

Turns out it was closed.

The mood in our car turned south.

There was yelling, tears, threats of big, bad punishment.

In my older brothers' car, they were probably all sitting perfectly,

solving mathematical equations,

or reading challenging chapter books

or even praying to baby Jesus in thanksgiving,

but not in my car.  

It was Ug-Ly.

We decided to stop at a small

and I mean small

city park nearby where we were.

We hopped out.

The kids swung on the swings

and see-sawed on the see saw.

Sigh of relief, things seemed better.

But only for a moment.

A brother was mean to another brother.

Someone fell off the see saw.

Tears, fighting - it was all coming back.

We adults quickly found some inspiration in having some old fashioned fun.

As in three legged races.

And the trusty wheel barrow race.

Modifications of the race track were made.

I even got some video of some of it.

Unfortunately, all I have here is one photo.

But what started out as a disaster 

turned into one of the more fun and unexpected moments of the week.

Love the fun and unexpected!

We eventually made it back (twice) to the hot spot:

PC Junction

where the kids could ride around a track on pedal cars

and play life-sized chess in the woods

and Bob and I could have a beer supervise them.

Time for another story.

This one briefer, which, you may have figured out,

is not my strong suit.

We went to Cave Point County Park one day.

I've been to Door County dozens of times,

my parents even more than that,

and none of us had ever been to this park.

It was magnificent.

Waves crashed on the shore.

Frogs were swimming in the little pools of water.

Butterflies floated.

A family enjoyed a picnic on a hidden beach.

The water (Lake Michigan) was c-c-c-cold.

50 degrees, a sign said.

Two loved it.

So did Three.

For that matter, so did One and the rest of the gang,

but I didn't get pictures of that.

Nor did I get pictures of a nice little walk in the woods we took afterwards

where we climbed to the top of "Old Baldy"

which is the largest sand dune in the state.

Who knew that Wisconsin had sand dunes?

Here is a gratuitous cute picture of my niece

who stayed the whole week with us,

along with her brother,

while their parents and older siblings returned home.

It's a sign of a good day if you can hang out in your swim suit all day long.

And here is my Two, showing off his new favorite skill

taught to him by aforementioned cute niece.

He now cartwheels everywhere he goes.

I could go on and on.

I do have 500+ more pictures afterall.

But I'll wrap it up with some photos that actually are from the last day of vacation

back here in Madison.

Mark and Aisha accompanied my wild bunch to the Memorial Union.

We ate and drank.

The boys swam one last time off the pier.

We ran into our cousin unexpectedly

which I've now done a few times this summer

which I love.  

So much more to tell you...

Last day of the Goodman Pool!

First day of school!

The start of football!

Canning tomatoes!

Labor Day weekend hike in the woods!

But not now.

I'm getting ready to enjoy my first day alone

tomorrow

no kids, no husband, no work

since May 27.

Any guesses what I'll be doing?