Packers and love

So, yesterday I had a lovely little mom-son moment that I loved, loved, loved.  Remember how we started that parent/child date idea last year?  One and I were scheduled for a date night in November (he doesn't want me to call it a date - he calls it a "thingy", I call it a date).  Anyway, we got behind with our trip out east and the holidays and life, so last week I said, "we're going out on our date next weekend."  He replied, "I want to go the The Haze and eat a pulled pork sandwich and watch the Packers with you."  I said, "yum!  Let's do it!"


(The Haze is a new restaurant/bar downtown that he discovered on a night out with Uncle Mark and Aunt Aisha.  I think he was as tickled about going out with them solo as he was about the sandwich and atmosphere and he wanted to relieve it.)


So, after canceling my appearance at bookclub last night (oops), he and I headed out.  Turns out The Haze was closed, so we headed down the street to The Great Dane, which is a happening little spot that brews their own beer and makes good food and has lots of tv's tuned to the football game.  


We found a spot at the bar, decided we'd wait until halftime to order our food, and got a couple of beers on tap (rootbeer for him, Scotch Ale - yummy - for moi).  Shortly after the game started, a woman sat next to One and started talking with us.  I could see he was enormously uncomfortable with this stranger talking to him, plus annoyed someone was distracting him from the big game.  She appeared to be maybe a little bit crazy and perhaps a little bit drunk too but probably overall harmless.  Anyway, after complimenting him on his glasses and noting how much he seemed to understand the game (she had no clue that she was sitting next to the world's biggest 10 year old Packers fan), she asked him his name.  "ahhh, ummm, (pause) my name is Mark."  (not his name - but the name of his favorite uncle - see 2nd paragraph above)  She said, "that's not your name" and looked to me for confirmation.  I just smiled and nodded.  After a bit, we got up to go to the bathroom and I "accidently" sat in his seat when we returned.  She said, "you sat there on purpose because Mark didn't want to sit next to me anymore."  For being a bit crazy and drunk, she was very perceptive.


Anyway, she eventually moved to a different spot at the bar and we were able enjoy the game in peace.  And enjoy we did!  My little One just beamed when the crowd cheered the good moments.  We sat at the edge of our seats near the end when the tide almost shifted, and we jumped up and cheered when they won.  And I thought, "there is no where else I want to be right now."  His sweet little smiley face looked up at me with such joy.  I will never forget it.  


On the way home, One said, "thanks for driving me to the restaurant, mom.  Thanks for buying my food.  (pause)  Thanks for spending time with me."  With a melting heart, I grabbed his hand and kissed it.  Of course, my love.  

holiday recap

Hello long lost blogger friends.
I've been busy working and mothering and hosting and relaxing.
But I do miss you.


So, here's a recap of our holidays.


What was great about Christmas/New Years 2010...


1.  Hosting our annual Christmas eve party.  Such a great group!  Lots of laughs and good food and fun times.
2.  Spending lots of time with Mark (my bro) and Aisha (my sis-in-law)
3.  Relaxing with the kiddos in our warm, cozy house
4.  Cleaning the basement and setting up the wii there (which amazingly means the kids are down there more - ahhhh, peace and quiet!)
5.  Hosting a couple of sleepovers with some favorite 10 year old buddies
6.  Going out to eat with Bob and Mark and Aisha to the new and fabulous Underground Kitchen -- just adults!  First time ever!
7.  Reading some good books
8.  Seeing my kids read some good books
9.  Hosting an impromptu and fun New Years Eve party 
10.  Forgetting about pesky schedules like early bedtimes and regular mealtimes
11.  Sledding (twice) and ice skating (once, so far)
12.  Watching my kids delight (again) in being with their cousins.  
13.  Cheering the Packers on to the playoffs
14.  Baking some yummy holiday goodies


What was not so great about Christmas/New Years 2010...
1.  Saying goodbye to Mark and Aisha, who are soon moving far, far away
2.  (still) Missing our beloved Grandma Donna 


But like a whip - SNAP! - we are back into our schooltime routine, and that is a good thing too.  The kiddos are upstairs right now getting ready for bed, at 7 pm.  I will soon follow them up to brush teeth, read books, snuggle and love and tuck in.  Life is good. 

settling in...

So, the dust is settling - inside my head, more than anywhere.  Things are starting to click at my new job.  I know where to sit when I first walk in and where the bathroom is.  I'm learning who gets there early, who loves to tend to the coffee area, and who smiles and greets me as we pass in the hallway.  It's these little pieces of discomfort that has been the hardest for me.  Makes me feel for the substitute teachers in the world who never settle in and learn the culture of one worksite.  


I am getting more comfortable using the confusing computer system also.  I was explaining to Bob last night that I have at least 7 different places I need to log in to the computer each day, and each place requires a slightly different login and password.  I have to "load the server onto the desktop", which may be a no-brainer to everyone else but feels like a total accomplish every time I have done it (twice so far!).  And I'm fairly comfortable on a computer.  Not having good computer skills is a true handicap for those in a modern-day workplace.  


I've met with lots of different folks looking for therapy - mom with an anxious 10 year old son (THAT felt familiar!), single women with significant histories of trauma, people with OWI convictions looking for chemical dependency counseling.  Some have made me laugh, and some have given me pause at how their matter-of-fact they take the trauma they've suffered.  


All in all, it feels so very good to flex this social work muscle again.  And so far, the family seems to be taking the transition in stride.  The only two changes for the rest of them is that Three is now bussed to and from his speech phenology program and Bob is home Friday afternoons - so he gets to collect them all from their various spots after school.  I worked late last Friday night - didn't get home until 5:45 pm, and dinner had already been served and cleaned up.  I liked coming in and having a plate of food waiting for me, children happily playing with their bellies full.  (To give myself a little bit of credit, the meal that night was something I put together in the slow cooker before I left for work in the morning.)  Bob was sitting in the living room, waiting to hear all the details of my long day at work.  Oh!  And to honor my first full day, he bought a german chocolate cake (my fav!) for us to enjoy.  


Thank you for your comments and congrats!  I am missing computer time - my computer time to do what I want to do.  Heavens - I sure get enough computer time at work!  I don't know how this blog will endure this transition...


I'm happy to post this update today, and who knows... Maybe I'll even follow up with a post with pictures.  

still aswirl

Things feel a little unsettled around here.  I'm almost totally unpacked after our trip, but that's a chore that has un-centered me.  I am fresh off of some family/christmas drama.  It's all resolved but it took a bit out of me.  And, mostly of all, I did something today that I haven't done since September 1992.  I started a new job.


I went in for 3 hours this morning for my part-time, temporary gig as a social worker at a local mental health agency.  This agency offers counseling services -- which is different than my former employer (doing child protection for the county) -- but the essence of the duties are similar.  Meet with folks in challenging situations.  Gather social histories, briefly assess the situation, and send them on their way to the appropriate service within the agency.  I'm excited but a bit unnerved and overwhelmed at it all.  As I told my friend this morning, I had the realization that I could meet with an individual who may later commit suicide.  What if I don't do my job correctly and they don't get the services they need?  She kindly reminded me I've worked in challenging and stressful situations before, and I can figure it out.  Let's hope so.


But it all went very smoothly this morning - the transition to this new life.  Three resumed his speech phenology preschool program this morning (perfect timing), and he was excited about the "school bus" (really, a minivan driven by a middle aged guy) taking him and bringing him home.  I got One to the bus, Two off to his school, and Three in his van all with a few minutes to spare before work.  Work... Feels strange, but good, to say.


I think I underestimated the dress code.  I dressed fine today (khakis and a sweater), but it looked like people tend to dress pretty nice.  I'm inclined to do a little shopping.  Maybe Santa will bring me a couple of skirts.


Ahh, the perils of starting a new job after being unemployed for (gulp) 10 years.  


Brrr, cold and grey the last couple of days.  Hasn't really inspired me to do much around the house, but I should.  Every room needs about 20 minutes of attention.  Know what I mean?  It's not a disaster, but it's a drag to have every room look disorganized - especially when that's what I feel on the inside.  Aha!  That's probably a DSM IV diagnosis I should bone up on!


Our trip to Baltimore and NYC was beyond great, but you'll have to wait for the stories and pictures.  In re-reading the above paragraph I have a burst of energy to tackle some of the chaos.  So I'm off!

the fog is clearing

It has been a whirlwind past couple of days.  Let's review.


Yesterday, I picked up several hundred pounds of beef from the butcher.  I had arranged to buy a side of beef from a friend of a friend.  This farmer raises cattle humanely and they are pasture fed, and I was happy to stock us up on beef.  And we are stocked up!  It's a good thing we have two (yes, two) chest freezers, because we are using every last little cubic inch of space in them.  Let's hope we don't lose electricity anytime soon.


While loading said beef into the freezer, the phone rang.  I figured it was my friend Theresa calling before her visit, but it was a friend (sort of) calling to offer me a job.  A very good job -- one in my field (social work), doing something I'm interested in, part time and very nearby my home.  At this point it's hourly and temporary -- she needs someone to fill in quickly until they can officially post for the job and get a permanent hire for it.  I quickly thought of the cons (where will Three go while I work?????), figured I'd figure it out, and said, "Yes!  Thanks!"


And that's where the whirlwind began.  Have you ever tried to figure out childcare for your children after never having to figure that out before?  I know many (most) parents have, but I had underestimated the confusion and mess - not to mention expense.  I'll spare you the details, but I think I have finally figured it out pretty well by now.  


If that's not enough, I've been busy readying my family for our roadtrip.  We set out tomorrow for the east - first to Canton, OH to the NFL hall of fame (on One's 10th birthday, no less), then to Baltimore for a couple of days to see my bro and sis-in-law, and then to NYC to stay with my cousin's girlfriend for 4 nights (My cousin, unfortunately for us, is in Brazil presently).  I've been packing and preparing and getting an I-Pass and Trip Tick and Ipods loaded with games and videos.  The boys each have their carry-on bags packed with books and a clipboard and papers and even whiteboards and markers.  I picked up a couple of "playaway" books from the library and a book on cd for the radio.  10-day food pellets have been bought for the fish, and the dog is all scheduled for the kennel.  I never realized my mom worked so hard before we went on vacation.  


In the middle of all of this chaos, I've had a handful of sweet reminders about how blessed I am with the people in my life.  Two very generous and kind friends offered to help out with bits of childcare here and there.  Another friend called and said, "this just confirms it.  Good things DO happen to good people.  I'm so glad you got this job!"  My parents have totally stepped up and genuinely offered to seriously help with childcare -- something they have never offered before (not that I've had to ask).   Not to mention the phone call - a bit out of the blue - from this (sort of) friend offering me this job!  


The bags are packed.  The beef is all put away.  My social security card has been located.  The ipods are charging.  The childcare plans feel manageable and comfortable.  


The fog is lifting.


I have many thanks during this Thanksgiving.

the car buying saga

Up much earlier than I wanted to be.  What is it with sleep these days?  It's very elusive.  

Anyway, here I sit, listening to my dryer whirl and my washer wish-wash, and I'm thinking about the day.  Looks to be fairly typical, save for the fact that Bob is off for a training for work in Ohio for a couple of nights.  

I'm relieved to be back to normal.  Bob's car died last week (a wheel fell off while he was diving - fortunately he was driving slowly in the parking lot where he was looking at a truck to buy for work, so he wasn't hurt and we didn't have to worry about moving the car right away), so we were swept into the whirlwind of car buying immediately.  All of my fantasies about only having one car went out the window when reality hit.  I really like (and sometimes need) the convenience of having a car at my ready, and Bob certainly needs one for work -- not only to get to/from work but also to go out and manage the construction jobs he's paid to, well, manage.  So, a car-buying we went.  

I tried to make it a fun adventure -- and it felt that way, at times.  However, we also felt a lot of pressure to buy the right car.  We buy cars to own until they fall literally fall apart (see above paragraph), so we wanted to make the right choice.  Kids were out of school on Thursday for parent-teacher conferences (more on that later), so off we set.

We dropped my car off to the body shop to get the front bumper replaced (THIRD one replaced - damn low-profile/cheaply made bumpers these days), and picked up a (free) rental car.  Kids were psyched to discover there was a third row of seats hidden in the way back, so we took off in comfort.  We all noticed the smoky smell when hopping in the car, but to me it had a rather, well, distinct odor.  Like that of a blunt.  I wondered who exactly had just lit up in the rental car before turning it in.  


Kids complained about the odor.  I kept the windows cracked and put on 93.1 fm, our local hip-hop station.  When in Rome...


After test driving a Mazda 5 (with 100,000+ miles on it - yikes!), we visited our old trusty 1997 Honda CRV to clean it out.  We all reflected on how much we loved that car while the kids got to work it out.  It has over 200,000 miles on it and many, many memories.  It was a good car - terrific in the snow and fun to drive to boot.  Before leaving it the last time, the kids even kissed it goodbye.  I'll miss the old pine cone.  (When we bought this car, it was the first year Honda made CRV's and I thought the name was stupid.  I decided it needed a more nature-like name, and the first one that popped into my head was "pine cone".  The nickname didn't really take hold, but I've always kind of liked it.)


So, loaded up with the contents of the CRV, we returned to the car lots to check out our other options.  In the parking lot of some dealership, I hopped out of the car to look closer at a car on the lot.  The kids stayed in the car.  I chatted with a salesman, all the while hearing the thump of the bass from 93.1 coming from the car.  When I opened the door to get back in, I heard Snoop Dogg on the radio and the smell of marijuana smoke wafted out.  I laughed, wondering what that salesman must have been thinking.


Dealership to dealership we went, test driving some (Toyota Scion) and just looking at others.  My parents had previously agreed to take the kids so that we could go to Two's parent/teacher conference, so I dropped them off  at their house, drove over to pick Bob up at work, and headed back into central Madison to school.  We had a great conference, and quickly headed back out to squeeze some more car shopping in, sans kids.  (My folks generously agreed to feed the kids and take them to wrestling to give us some more time.)


We test drove a Honda Civic and an Accord - drawn to the great gas mileage.  Bob really needs more of a hatchback to haul stuff for work, so we kept on looking.  We checked out the Honda Element, which is Bob's "dream" car (?? I don't get it) but it's only a 4 seater.  No go for a family of 5.  We test drove a Nissan Cube (again with the boxy!).  Our time was up, so we headed back to get the kiddos.


Back home to regroup, we tried to narrow down our priorities.  How important is a new car?  Do we buy foreign or domestic?  Do we focus on gas mileage or cargo space?  How about all wheel drive?  How long do we want this car to last?  Should we just get a beater that we can pass on to One when he's of driving age in 6 (really?! only 6!!) years?  


I found a very helpful website:  www.cargurus.com   We stayed up late on Thursday and Friday night, searching through the internet, trying to make a game plan for Saturday.  On Saturday morning, we headed out in the cold and rain, determined to find our car.  We were willing to travel out of town (had some possibilities in Columbus, Whitewater and Waukesha).  We test drove a Nissan Versa and a Kia Soul, and by this time, I realized that it was a distinct possibility that we would end up with one of these quirky, boxy little numbers that I would be slightly embarrassed to be seen in.  The kids were fighting and stabbing each other with pencils (you think I'm exaggerating?), so Bob dropped Two and Three and I off at the McDonalds playland for some food and play (both of which were quite depressing), and he and One went back out car shopping.  


And then.  Bob called me, rather excitedly.  He found a 2003 Honda CRV with only 25,000 miles on it at a dealership in Middleton.  He was coming over to pick us up to test drive it, but I could tell in his voice that this may be the one.  The pulled in, and I gasped - it was very close in color to the very first new car I ever bought -- a 1990 Honda Civic.  Felt like good (car)karma!  The car looked brand new.  The story was that a couple in their 80's hauled this behind their RV when they wintered in Arizona, so it had very low miles on it.  I liked the car's back-story.  


We went back to the dealership, haggled a bit on the price, got them down a bit, and made the deal.  So, we are the proud new owners of a 7 year old car which appears to have been in a time capsule (the plastic protective covering is still on the radio).  It has the all wheel drive, which we decided was a number one priority.  We are long-time Honda fans, so we feel confident that this car will take us another 200,000 miles.  It even has a moon roof!  And, in total coincidence, after deciding to buy the car, twice we've been followed by a CRV that looked to be the same year and was definitely the same color.  


I have suggested to One and Two (both of whom have become nice storytellers, in part due to a fabulous "writer's workshop" curriculum in their schools) that they should make up a story from the car's perspective -- how the car used to have this quiet life with an older couple who didn't use it much, and now it's about to have a much different life with this loud, wild group of boys.  

miscellaneous Monday

What a great weekend - thanks for asking!  Here are some snapshots of our Friday activities....

We biked to the Kohl Center to go to one of our favorite little buddy's birthday party, which took place at the UW Women's Hockey game.

How cool is that?!

We then decided to bike on over to State Street to trick or treat with participating businesses.  Our costumes were, well, lacking, but we had the spirit!  Here my boys are posing with the hear no, see no, speak no evil monkeys:

And an extra picture of Three, because he is just so darn cute:

 Then home, to eat some dinner and carve pumpkins -- admittedly, one of my least favorite things to do.  However, know what I learned this year?  It's exciting!  It really is!  The kids are all old enough to scoop out the guts of the pumpkins.  Not only that, they enjoyed that!  Yeah for me!  My scooping days are over!  (almost as exciting as getting out of diapers)

 And the results of all of that scooping:

In other news, I just found out my brother and sis-in-law are moving to Palestine.  I am excited for them, though a teeny bit leery too.  However, I'm NOT going to miss this chance to visit, like I did when he was in the Peace Corps in Mali, W. Africa.  Hear that, Mark?  I'll come to see you, whether you like it or not!  (4 years?  really??)  (and the kids are all signed up for their Arabic foreign language classes, so they'll be ready to communicate with you)


As a side note, October is the month where I've personally experienced the most death.  I've been to more funerals in October than any other month, I'm sure of it.  Maybe it's because of that, but I've been having very interesting dreams lately where my dead beloveds (friends and family) visit me.  They seem more real than my other dreams, and there are some recurring themes.  I'd love to go to a psychic to explore this further.  I like these dreams, although they do leave me a bit shaken when I wake up.  


And lastly, I realized this afternoon that when a recipe calls for 3 cups of cooked rice, you don't need to use 3 cups of dry rice.  Doh!  Rice, anyone?